there is going to be a class gathering later at 2. hope everything goes out well, since i think the class seems to be falling apart. intuition.

dear god, the only thing i ask of u is to hold her when i am not around, when i am much to far away.

sigh. did i say? i love this song very very much. soft rock. and emo. haa. its like a plea to god, though i am not of any particular religion, it just seems like the only way i can talk when i feel terrible. to myself. i am turning emo. have i been saying that since a long time ago? i guess i did. nafa made me like this. i always feel that there are 2 sides of me. 1 side is the emo side, which always appears when i am so alone. like now. and the other side of me, is the one whom can cleverly hide how she always feels. the one whom always appear cheerful in front of others. and that is what u guys always see.

i feel so aimless now. what is my goal in life? to be just a good young lady? to get married, have kids, get old, and die? i don't know. it seems like there are so many things in life. so many things that i can't seem to achieve. so many things that seems so far away. dear god, please tell me what i should do. i am lonely and tired. i don't know what to do. Building and designing a home for my family had been my dream. but now, everything seems to be shattered. am i really suitable for this? am i? am i? alan ong told us in class today. almost half the class failed the assessment. guilt struck me immediately. i feel terrible and bad. i didn't finish my work. for the 1st time in my nafa life, i never finish my work. i don't want to revert back to the old me. the me that never complete all my schoolwork, cuz in the end, i will fail, and i wun be achieve what i want. i had that experience i must learn. i need to do my work promptly. i have to do my work promptly. But there is just this devil in me. the devil that stops my from achieving what i want. damn that devil. get out of my life. get out.

shihua, your life cant revolve only around facebook and... no no. do ur work please. do ur work.

DEAR GOD.