today, someone was shy to say that she wants love but couldn't get any. ahaha. only u and i know who u are.

i was quite sad la. cuz u like dun want to tell me. hmmm. but anyways, i just want to tell u, sometimes, i share the same sentiments. its can be quite sad i know. u will keep piti-ing urself or sth like that. but sighs. there are a lot of people out there just like us. poor lonely souls. and so, we have each other for company. ^^
and stupidly, one of my guy friend asked me out tmr to help him get a present for the girl he likes. urgh. i'm like always thinking, why can't a nice guy(that i like as well) like me? haaa. its all our wishful thinking. i'm starting to not believe in love. sometimes.

urgh. stop emo-ing!

sia la. my sis so popular.
i was blog hopping around and i realise that there are 3 guys after my sister. ahah. i know she pretty (like me. okay. vomit pls.) but i didn't know so many guys are after her. ahaha.
yan ar. hehehe. i know ur little secrets liao... ^^

this baby vid is funnny!!








my personal favourite.

this is going to be an abandoned artpiece.
i am going to redo it.

i was browsing thru my msn list. and i saw these three sentences:

i was an abandoned boy.

who am i to say?

face the terrible truth, its life.

these are the 3 msn nicks from 3 different people who happened to be listed side by side with each other in my list. the last sentence is from me. i know it feels random but it feels like a conversation that has hidden meaning in it.
-----------------------
i seek the secrets withing the sentences...

break me open, tear me down.
------------------------------------------------------------
it has been extremely busy these days. the earliest i slept was 3am cuz the overloading homeworks are killing me. and finally wed arrive and i need not go to school. yays!
its 1.43am now. i know i can actually use this time to sleep because theres no lesson for me tmr, but i can't. now that my body clock has been tuned to sleep at 3, i can't sleep any earlier before that. but at least i get to take a break now. but i am bored. my life seem very meaningless now. its all homeworks the whole day. and even if i spend the whole day doing my homework, i can't seem to finish them at all. i am worried. actually, not worried about myself but more worried about my friends. machi and jaa. am i a bit kan chiong over all the group study thingy? i just want to see that u all complete your work, and i hope its not a last minute thing. i just feel that the ealier we finish it, the better. isn't it? i hope i didn't stress you all or sth. ok? alright? well... jaa, i am more worried about you, don't skip anymore lesson already ok? i know its not on purpose, just try. and today, u said u feel like quiting school. really? although it seemed like just a passing remark, but i felt a bit shocked. but oh well, if u really think that you have to do it, just do it. its your decision. but u have to really plan what u are going to do in the future and work hard for it. u said u wanted to be an interior designer and a dance instructor eh? then work hard for both. damn hard okayys. do your ultimate best. machi, u are so right. i really care a lot about how others think of me. and its really a lot. and i don't deny it. as that something really bad? as for haolian, really? i thought i was usually just joking. but sometimes, i am really proud of my work. so i hope this haolian thing is not really as bad as i think it is. ^^
as can be seen, i have been discussing with machi about each other's bad points. cuz not everyone is perfect. haolian and think too much about what others think about me is the 2 of my bad points machi stated. and so what others do i have? materialistic? insensitive? in decisive? retarded? so what do u all think of me? tag me in my tagboard and give me answers. i'm curious.

machi, i really can't think of your bad points. cuz everytime i think of one, i will have reasons to cover up for your bad points. like: u are poor at organising your time. but that is because you have to handle work and school at the same time. you are too independent. but is that really a bad point? isn't it good to be independent? oh! i thought of one. perhaps you turn into quiet state too easily when u are together with a group of people. haa. then everyone will start worrying. like we don't know whether did we offend you or sth. its rather scary sometimes. and u are a movie addict. u watch a lot of movies. ahaha. you are too tomboyish. ahh. its that bad? i don't know. well. i can't think of anything else.
jaa, u want me to write anything about you? hehe. i have a list... ^^ *evil grins*

---------------------------------------------------

i am going for dinner with my jc art mates tmr. yays. i can't wait. they are going over to nafa tmr to look at the japan photography exhibition. i miss pammy!!!!!! pammy! saw this?!?!!? ahaha. my beloved silly and cheek-pinching cute pammiewammie. how i hope i am now in adm with you. but my luck ain't as good as you. i can't get into ntu. i miss those 'camp in the art room and fooling around and doing each other's work' days. i want to turn back time if i can. i really wish that can happen. sighs. but its mission impossible. i just miss you terribly.

aubrey

a not so very ordinary girl
but who's to blame
for a love that wouldn't bloom
for the hearts that never played in tune
like a lonely melody
everyone cans sing
take away the words that rhyme
it doesn't mean a thing.

i have been out doing hw with my grassmates. at tianqi's house, at macdonalds. its mostly marker rendering and 3d fundamentals.
and i finally fell sick today. on my grandfather's birthday. sighs. i can't stop coughing the whole day and my nose kept running. my sorethroat is worse. i feel terrible. i feel like sleeping the whole day. argh. i still have to plan my schedule! i can't be defeated by the germs! shitty germs. i hate you! get out of my life completely please!

grandfather's birthday was celebrated at 'the village'. which is actually the old crocodile farm. it was, so so. not very fun, not very boring either. it was celebrated at a restaurant, but it was a vegetarian one. my elder cousins were entertaining, but my younger cousins were so busy in their own world. refusing to eat anything on the table. i hope i dun get kids like them in the future. they stick their ear piece in their ear all the time and ignored everyone who called them. including the elderlies. i piti my aunt. she has difficulty keeping them in control. sighs.
my future cousin-in-law joined us for the occasion. she's a nice girl. haa. but i am kind of not used to having a new member in the family. my cousin and her are getting married next year. i shall give them my blessings. as for the interior designing they want from me for theor new house, wait 3 years later after i have gotten my diploma please. haa. anyways, ur new house wouldn't be ready that fast. ^^

sometimes, i just love the ambience of the night. its quiet, its soothing, its calming.
turn on some soothing music, close ur eyes and u'll feel peace.

i like staying outside with my friends till late at night, laughing, joking, and fooling around. but i don't like the chores i have to do when i reach home late. schoolwork and housework. somehow, i love my school work now no matter how taxing it is. homework seems to be never-ending and deadlines always seems to be close. but i'll still gladly do it. GLADLY. but i dun like late dinner. imagine having to finish all the leftovers from tonight's dinner. its cold, and a lot. my family dun eat much and yet my mom always cooks a lot. furthurmore, she likes to cook deserts like red bean soup or other kinds of soup that i find disgusting but she claims that its good for us. well, i'll just eat up everything, and even continue forcing the food down my throat even when i feel bloated. otherwise, i'll get a lecture or something close to it. food is precious. yeah i know it but i think my stomache is precious as well. please don't burst it. after dinner comes the worst part. washing of the bowls. yeah. i know i know. everyone has to wash their own bowls. but i jus hate it. my mom has been calling me to wash the bowls since 10pm yesterday. but its still in the sink now. well, now equates to 0032hr. it has been in the sink for 2 hours plus. urgh. i dread waching it.

kawaii-dez!!!

i have finished my marker rendering and i think its so fun i did it twice. so which one u all think is nicer?

Not Emo Try as you might, you are not emo. Perhaps goth, or punk, or a jock, or just a poser...not totally sure. But whatever you are, you are one pair of tight pants too short to really be called emo. Look on the bright side though...well...because that's what non-emo people do.

Emo Quiz » QuizRocket.com's fun quizzes!
~ Love Quiz ~ Wedding Sweepstakes ~ The Dumb Test ~
Quizzes | Celebrity & Movie Trivia Quizzes | Dumb MySpace Quotes

Dumb Test » QuizRocket.com's fun quizzes!
~ Love Quiz ~ Wedding Sweepstakes ~ The Dumb Test ~
Quizzes | Celebrity & Movie Trivia Quizzes | Dumb

what kind of persom am i?

somehow, history doesn't seem that difficult to do. just cut and paste all the pics i have and paste them in the journal. the only tedious part would be the summarising of all the points and describing the motifs i guess. ha~!
and i am so happy~~! i am going to get copic markers for free!! but its only a few. those markers that my friend kapoked from somewhere. somewhere only she and i know, maybe plus a few others whom i was close with. ahaha. thats naughty but i am glad she did. hooray for my rendering.
crystal's class seems to be amazingly fun recently. i complained so much about how soft she was last sem. but this term, it was slightly better. she still has her 'prease dun pray in crass' tone but it is now slightly louder. at least now we understand. and maybe its because our class is bonding well. the wall between us is being demolished, and so, we joke around more in class, although sometimes i still dun get the joke. but class is more lively.
as for today, it was too lively. crystal resorted to 'shuddup!!' and she stopped teaching for approximately 15 min. it was a bad choice. i was mad at her for doing that. cuz not the whole class was noisy ok. i wanted to blame a few people but i kept it down. its wrong to point fingers i know. thats why i kept quiet. but i had this urge to break the silence in class. i shuffled. as in moved around my seat and pretended to be preparing for presentation. i tried to make a bit of not that loud noise. and finally after a while, it became not that quiet(not very noisy as well as we were all scared. maybe not all). and lesson continued..
there is this joke going around in class. the pumpkin joke. about this person being a pumpkin. which started from princess crystal, and then the rat, the castle, the guard, the dragon yada yada. well. which reminds me how diversified my class is. so diversified i feel that its like the real world. there are some people u would want to mix with, there are some people u wouldn't. there are some people whom u will benefit from while some u will feel very irritating. some people u know u will never get to know them at all even when u are classmates. well. thats what makes a class eh? haa.
sometimes, i just hope that i can graduate tmr. i want my pa to be able to retire soon. it seems like he is always so busy and tired after the whole day of delivery.
sighs. i hope time pass by quickly.

be thankful to those who left u. they taught u the meaning of independence.
be thankful to those who hurt u. they taught u how to be strong.
be thankful to those who hit u. they took your sins away with them.

be thankful.

----------------------------
i went dawning at joyee's house on sat. i don't know whether to be happy or sad. it was a get together for all my primary school friends but i felt so far away from them. like strangers. but i refuse to admit it. the only reason is because all of them are now in uni. or graduating from poly and going to uni after that. i feel stupid again. and i know one particular someone thought i was stupid to go nafa only after jc. he gave me that wierd look when i told him that. i don't know what to say to them after that. i acted happy but i was not. well. i am going to prove to them i made the write choice in going nafa. i dunno how, but i am going to show them. i am not going to let them look down on me.i am going to get that degree.

i hate having menstrual cramps.
it hurts.

so sorry machi. was sleeping all afternoon after lunch because i had stomach ache.

someone called me on the phone just now. and i lied that i was busy. i'm so sorry but i dun really feel like talking. actually. esp to u. dun ask me why.

well, to everyone, dun call me to talk on the phone that often okeyys. i dun really like talking on the phone. the telephone burns.
------------------------------------

yihuan did an s21 video. its really very nice. it brings back memories and laughter. i especially love the last part when he merge the photos tgt. great job yihuan.

We will all turn into dust someday. It is just a natural course.

------------------------------

What a day!

I woke up early in the morning today, just to take some photos at a nearby park for basic photography lessons. I was quite paiseh because the park got a lot of old lady and man doing morning exercises and their usual morning activity. Well, the point is, I woke up early.

Then in school, we had research methodology. Nothing much to talk about. Just the usual lesson with marriene yang. And jaa and I went to eat ra-men after that. Again. Haix. We always eat ra-men nowadays. But ramen isn't what I want to talk about. It's the shit. Yeah I am crude again I know but a bloody bird shit landed on my shirt. Damn the mynahs ok. Damn them. Dirty my clothes. Looking for revenge on me cuz I disturbed u all when u all stealing people's food? Stupid birds. I don't like u and I am going to disturb u all more next time. And I didn't realise until we went back to school. And jaa had to wash my shirt for me while I wait inside the cubicle. Thanks jaa.

Whats more, when we reach class, we were told that there will not be any photography lessons for today. Why now then tell us?! Why no sms or phone calls?! Make all of us bring the cam to school for nothing?! Even if u have mc just today, u can like tell us earlier then we need not waste our time waiting?! And I woke up early in the morning for nothing. I am pissed ok. P-I-S-S-E-D. Pissed. U are a really irresponsible teacher.

I have been frequenting facebook a lot a lot a lot. And I realised a lot of people tagged me on 25 random facts about me. A lot lehx. But I too lazy to do it on facebook. So now as I blog, I shall do the tag here.

1. I like being in a crowd of friends. Its lively and fun. I dun care if they talk to me. I just love crowds.
   
2. I am scared of supernatural stuff. Never try to scare me with that.
   
3. Its my habit to squeeze the pimples on my face when I am using the com.
   
4. I always wished that I was a Taiwanese. I love their variety shows and shopping places.
   
5. Sometimes, I'll act as if I am blur, but actually I know very clearly what u are saying.
   
6. I was once on medication for psychological problems. Hehehehe. But it wasn't for depression.
   
7. I am not proud of going into RV. I regretted it.
   
8. I will sing and maybe dance around when I am alone in the lift.
   
9. I want to try putting on makeup when I go out but I don't dare.
   
10. My stomache has a lot of air. So I fart easily.
    
11. I am crude. I know.
    
12. I don't like how I look but I learn to live with it.
    
13. Don't force me to think. I'll go blank when I am being forced. I need time to think.
    
14. I am very straight forward and get fed up easily to the people I dun like.
    
15. I will keep looking at guys whom I think are good looking from the corners of my eyes.
    
16. I am jealous of people who can get into SMU. They have good brains.
    
17. I love secondary school A and E maths but I dun like JC H2 maths.
    
18. I always hope that my prince charming will appear soon.
    
19. I want my prince charming to be a head taller than me, so that I can cuddle in his broad chest.
    
20. Its okay for my prince charming to wear specs.
    
21. I always compare myself with the people around me.
    
22. I want to learn singing.
    
23. I love music but I have no determination in it. I learnt violin, cello, piano, organ before but none of them last.
    
24. I dun like cities. I prefer country sides.
    
25. If I smile at u when I see u, it means I really like u. I'll not bother with the people I dun like.

message

to u.
i read your blog and felt that u really shouldn't keep demoralizing yourself. keep in mind that u are unique in your own way okayys. here are some reasons why i think u should cheer up.

actually u can draw well. its just that u don't have enough practise.
actually ur english isn't too bad. otherwise u will have to attend english lessons in nafa.
actually u are not stupid.
actually u are creative. even more creative then me. u always have crazy ideas in ur mind that i dun have.
actually its true that u are not cute. cute is ugly and adorable. u are just urself. a wonderful person to be with.
actually u are a good friend. if u think u are not, that means u think i have bad taste. i tell u, i don't.
actually u shouldn't hate yourself. love yourself. ur life will change for the better.
actually its good that u vent ur frustrations on your blog. its good for ur psychological well-being and we friends get to know whats going on in your mind.
i dunno why u entered nafa but i'm glad u did.
i dunno why u are jealous of other's happiness but almost everyone is jeolous of someone. just that they dun say.
i dunno why u feel yourself useless. but u are not. u light up my life in nafa.
i dunno why u don't know.
i dunno why u sudden;y want to blog all your feelings out but i'm glad u did.
u are somebody because everyone is.
u can do things right. its just that u don't remember all the things u did right but only remember the wrong ones. everyone is the same.
u feel that u can never really enjoy life because no one can. life is not all about enjoyment. theres sufferings and more. its all about living.
u love your family a lot and that i applause for u.
u are human that means u are selfish. others people are selfish as well. but keep in mind that everyone has a heart. no one is heartless.
u are urself today. u unleashed urself when u blogged out ur feelings.

next time, when u feel that things are not going right. dun think about how bad it can go. think about how to solve the problem. get it?
cheers.

hua

dona's bdae pics.



i finished part of my rendering.
nice? ^^
both done by me!!



this is a photo i took outside my window.
for basic photography again.

A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend.

They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

 

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave.

The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"

 

Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!"

"I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there."

The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is."

"Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!"

"Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."

 

Q: What are the three rings of marriage?

A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

I have been constantly asking myself these few day. Am I a bit show off-ey? I feel a bit so. But I hope not.

Rendering rendering rendering rendering. Why is it that interior designing requires us to buy so many copic markers for rendering? Must we get copic?

 

And so, i bought the rest of the coloured copic markers today. Costing 75 bucks total. 迟买早买，到头来还不是一定要买。Sighs. My friends envy me cause they think I'm studying sth I like. True enough, I like rendering and designing, but imagine the guilt I have to endure whenever I have to spend my pa's money. I am not holding any scholarships or anything. I have to pay school fees and I still have to pay for the material fees. I am not working and my pa just lost his job. Now he is just doing odd jobs earning not more then 1000 bucks per month. Minus of our expenses, we are left with nothing. Its dreadful mans. Dreadful.

Today was donna's birthday.

Happy birthday dona. Hope u had a wonderful 19^th and bless ur 20^th.

I'm soon going to be 20 as well. I'm getting old.

06S21!!
elisabeth is in this video!!!!!