i just hope ppl can accept me for who i am

a random vid i did for my current classmates.
its just photomontage, so it might get boring after a while...

friends are everywhere. but good friends are certainly hard to find. i thank god for having given me this 2 friends in nafa, whom i can completely trust. i certainly hope that this friendship can last throughout my entire lifetime.
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looking back at my lower secondary school life, i knew that i had not made any good friends then, and that is certainly my regret. i'll just look around in their facebook profiles, curious about how they are leading their lives now. but i just do not have the courage to start talking to them again. although we were once 2 years of classmates, i certainly do not have any bond with them and i dun understand why. when i look at their photos and i see them all still hanging out with each other. i get jealous. i dun say so but i am. so now, i feel that i would want to make really close friends in my new environment.i dun want to regret.

when i think deeper into my life, i just feel that i can't make close friends because i am not good with words. when people talk to me, i'll always wonder how to reply. i'll think for quite sometime before i reply cuz i dun wan to say anything wrong or wierd. but it always doesn't seem to be the case. i always want to think of something funny to say, so that i can cheer my friends up. but i am always somehow unable to do so. my jokes are always so not funny. why. sometimes when i try saying something funny, my friend will just look at me and *blink blink*. after that, i'll always start to laugh, to lighten the atmosphere.

i just dun know how to talk. i am scared of being alone with just 1 friend actually. thats cuz i always feel that the atmosphere would be very tensed. i will not know what to say unless the other person take the initiative. or perhaps we just dun have a common topic. but usually these people i can't talk to alone are those whom i rally admire or really like. i just hate myself for being this way. why.

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well.. i guess i am just ranting. dun bother about what i wrote at my friends. i have been having late night sleeps this few days and it is now 0230 am, so i am back in my emo and tired state of mind. i'll be back to the normal state of mind by tomorrow morning. and maybe by then, i would even have regret posting this paragraph up. i just need a good night rest.